Hello, my lovelies! I’ve taken a break from permanently traumatizing squirrels, planting crops, processing my household god to its summer abode, and honestly doing a bang-up job setting my life on fire (yes, again, because everybody needs a hobby) to write you the next installment of The Constellations, which you can read here. So, you […]
Why hello, my lovelies. I have written a new installment in The Constellations, which you can read here. … you not only can, but should. There’s a hellhound! There is just…. So. Much. Myth. Long blog post ahead. The myth Canis Major is the Great Dog. We’re on a bit of a dog roll, in […]
Hello there, my lovelies! I am absolutely taken with this latest installment of The Constellations. You can read it here and find out for yourself why I’m so delighted with it. …. or you can just keep reading, and I’ll freaking tell you why. This is the first constellation, alphabetically, with two words in its […]
Oh, my lovelies!! Hello! I’ve missed you all, simply terribly. At last, I present you with the next installment of The Constellations, which you can [and should] read here. I did quite a bit of research for “Cancer.” That’s usually what happens when I’m low on inspiration for stories and just generally short on the […]
Why hello, my lovelies. This is a rather special installment in The Constellations. (And you should, of course, read it here.) You see, this is the one-year anniversary of this project. I had, of course, hoped to have more than eleven installments completed by now, but, since there are eighty-eight constellations precisely, at least we […]
Hello, my lovelies. Isn’t this thrilling?! I’ve finished the tenth installment of The Constellations, which you can read here. “Caelum” is in a genre very far afield, for me. I consider regurgitating my dinner when I read stories like this. However, it is the tenth story of eighty-eight- it won’t do to restrict myself to […]
Hello, lovelies! I’m excited about this latest installment of The Constellations, which you can read here. In fact, I’ve been looking forward to writing about Boötes, whom I thought I’d style the Guardian of the North, since last summer. Any time something as fascinating as a Guardian of the North is involved, it’s bound to […]
My lovelies! Hello there. The latest installment of The Constellations is to be found here. How do you update ancient myths about charioteers and goats? With Kendra the Uber driver, a superstar called Capella, and a nameless but adorable nanny goat in a Suburban, that’s how. Yup. My brain is wonderful, and weird, and you love it. […]
Now, lovelies, you may have been wondering how I’ve occupied myself for the parts of the fall that followed the conclusion of the Great Trek of 2020 but preceded the beginning of my new (non-writing) employment. Havoc and mayhem have been the watchwords, obviously. My days mostly started with a view rather like this: Tea, […]
A Great Trek must have a beginning and, sadly, an end. Not that there’s anything particularly sad about having regular access to indoor plumbing, of course. I mean the other aspects of a Great Trek- the constant novelty of life on the road, the sense of freedom as one roams from place to place, unfettered […]
Why, hello, my lovelies! I have an important announcement that is both sad and exciting: the end of the Great Trek of 2020 is nigh. [Actually, since I am late posting, as of this date, the Great Trek has in fact concluded. We’ll talk about that later. For now, enjoy this slightly behind the times […]
Hello, lovelies! Well, at the conclusion of my adventures in Yellowstone, I had a decision to make: start backtracking to the East Coast, or press on for another 800 miles to the West Coast. Upon consideration, I realized this was a ridiculous thing to be debating with myself. I’ve never seen the Pacific Ocean. I’m […]
Hello, my lovelies! I have emerged! Huzzah! I was obliged to endure a fast from the internet, cell service, and civilization in general whilst in Yellowstone National Park. Have I got loads to tell you. Also, I seem to have taken approximately 1,000 pictures; I’ll endeavor to present the best of those and no more. […]
Good morning, lovelies! The latest installment of The Constellations is to be found here. I am helpfully posting “Aries” at lunch so that the faint of heart may enjoy this tale of horror and madness and the devil himself… before dark. The idea for “Aries” helpfully popped into my brain all but fully formed- the […]
Hello, lovelies! I have emerged from the cell service and internet wasteland that is Yellowstone National Park (more on that in another blog post, in the very near future), armed with two new stories for The Constellations. Without predictable access to electricity, I wrote things down while I was there. On paper. On paper. Like […]
Hello, lovelies! The Great of 2020 continues, and it has arrived in Wyoming! Well, you already knew that, because my last post was from Buffalo, WY. But you didn’t know any details about this leg of the trek. I will now update you. The Devils Tower You know, I’m starting to sense a theme on […]
Hello there, lovelies! Warning: excessively long post ahead. Also, numerous photographs, since those were favorably reviewed in the Badlands Edition. This portion of the Great Trek of 2020 has been a very mixed bag. My way over here started with having to visit BOTH of the Walmartians in Rapid City, SD, because the first one […]
I give you part 5 of The Constellations. Read this installment here. I am very fond of the constellation Aquila (The Eagle), itself. It’s a pretty, easily recognizable shape; if you’re reading this from the Northern Hemisphere, you can go look at the sky on the next clear night and see it for yourself. Personally, […]
Never been to the Badlands in South Dakota? Go. I made an extended stay there, and I’m delighted I did so, although I wouldn’t want to live there. It is a magnificent piece of country. I mainly adventured in the North Unit of the national park. Buckle yourselves in, lovelies. This is going to be […]
Part 4 of The Constellations has arrived. You can read it here. I don’t see why you’d read this blog post without reading the story, I must say. However, in summary, Hebe Conway runs freelance security jobs for water transports on Mining World 29-160-13001-2 (fondly known as Slag-off 2 to its inhabitants). Tune in for […]
Hello, my lovelies! I’m at a splendific campground in South Dakota. So, as you’d expect, this means the Great Trek of 2020 hit the road and went further west. A twelve hour day of driving further west. Another time zone further west. Oof. Leaving Iowa An observation about the county roads in Iowa: you’re driving […]
Hello there, my lovelies. I’m afraid I’ve been too busy exploring and roasting marshmallows and writing stories for The Constellations to keep you perfectly up to date on the Great Trek of 2020. Rest assured, it continues, and I have been trekking about enthusiastically. Let me catch you up on the last week’s adventures. The […]
Part 3 of The Constellations has arrived! Read it here. This installment is inspired by the constellation Apus, commonly called the Bird of Paradise. It’s about Alexandre du Chêne, who lives in exile at Château Abois after the Revolution unseated his family from the throne, and the bird of paradise he keeps there with him. […]
Well, my lovelies, that was an interesting drive. Phew. Wisconsin exit drive A brief observation: the county roads in Wisconsin are labelled by letters, not numbers, and they seem to restart the alphabet every time you enter a new county. It would have been helpful to know that before I saw the third County Road […]
Hello, lovelies! I’m all packed and about to leave Wisconsin for parts unknown. The Great Trek of 2020 continues… but, before it does, I’m going to sit in the air conditioning in a coffee shop and remind myself to not 100% devolve on this adventure. I may have gone without refrigeration for a week, but […]
Hello, lovelies. As some of you know, art imitated life in “Antlia.” I am on the road, possibly soon to terrorize a town near you- or, more likely, a wilderness absolutely nowhere near anywhere you’ve ever been. I bet the chipmunks are cowering in fear even now. Why? Well, when all else fails, you set […]
Using the toilet and writing really are strikingly similar. You sit there long enough, and eventually you’re going to crap something out. On that inspiring note, I give you part 2 of The Constellations here. Do you know how long it takes to think up a story where your only prompt is an air pump? […]
After feverishly editing for about an hour, I have finished the first story in The Constellations collection. Only eighty-seven more to go! You can read “Andromeda” here. It’s about Andy, her dog Percy, and the surprising utility of a frozen rutabaga. Also, by drop party, I mean me toasting myself with a bottle of rum. […]
My latest project: eighty-eight short stories, each of them (more or less strongly) inspired by a different one of the eighty-eight constellations in the night sky of planet Earth. The stories will be approximately 500-1,500 words in length. I’m not anticipating any of them will be linked (aside from all referencing the constellations in some […]